Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
