you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
