Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
