did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
