She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
