Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
