We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
