life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Randomize
