Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
