I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I have feelings that need drinking.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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