Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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