He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
