Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
