Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
