they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
