is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
