i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
