meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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