i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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