I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
