Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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