No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
