Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Drunk is not a location!
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
