I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
