I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
