remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
