At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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