saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
