True but thats because hes a fetus.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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