You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I just gift wrapped bread.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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