I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
