im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
