Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
