i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
