don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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