Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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