Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
