Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
