Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Randomize
