I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
