I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
