Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I need moral support for this bender
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
