Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
