I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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