i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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