The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
