I don't think brook has ever known best
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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