who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
