and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
