Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
