My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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