yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I got inside last night via doggy door
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Randomize
