I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
